Marriage Proposal!

Someone just left this review:

After being on a cruise for a week, Matthew’s place was just what we needed to relax! It was marvelous and exceeded all of our expectations! The house was clean, warm and inviting; just enough space for my fiancé and I! It was also close to local stores and some of our favorite restaurants. We couldn’t have asked for a better place to end our trip; my fiancé even proposed on our last night at this place! This place now holds a special place in our heart and We will definitely be booking again!

In my experience, reviews are often more a function of whether the guest enjoyed their vacation than whether the apartment was actually good or bad. I guess you can’t go wrong when the guest gets a marriage proposal!

Naked, Passed Out on the Floor

What actually happened:

Cleaning lady found him naked and passed out on the floor and had to call the property manager to wake him up and throw him out.

The review I wrote:

Overslept the checkout time by an hour, but left quickly when woken. Otherwise a fine guest.

Handy Bits of Text

Put this in your house rules:

Quiet hours are from 9pm to 8am. There are working professionals in neighboring units who have to be at work at 8am. They will not hesitate to call the police if you are loud or throw a party.

When people ask for a discount:

I’m sorry, but I keep my prices low and have almost 100% occupancy, so I don’t offer any discounts.

When people ask about payment or deposits:

Airbnb handles the financial end, and they don’t give me any visibility into how it works. If you have questions about payments or deposits, you’ll need to call them.